A Gull's Story

Hi:

Checking in for today’s photo report from the beautiful northwest.
I like gulls. My wife doesn’t. We ran across the guy below just sitting on a fence at the Dungeness National Wildlife Refuge. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Gulls! Yuck… how boring. But wait; there really is a story about this particular gull. He’s not as bird-brained as he looks.

So this gull is just sitting there. Cindy is not interested in him (or her) except that he refuses to move – almost like he’s on guard. She asks me, “Why is he just sitting there?” I tell her there’s a guy that comes by most days to feed the gulls. “He’s probably just waiting for food,” I say.

Cars come and go in the parking lot and the gull patiently remains at his post – pun intended. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of an old, faded red car and Mr. Passive begins screaming his head off. Notice in the picture that there is just one gull, right? Not for long.

Sure enough it’s dinner time (closer to lunch, really). Anyway, it’s the guy with the food and in less time than it takes him to get out of his car, the sky is full of gulls.

I think gulls are beautiful. Their wings remind me of angels. Gulls also remind me of flying rats. They do love their food, but there is no denying they are art in the air.

Turns out the kindly gentleman in the photo above has been making the trip out to what are now the DNWR and Three Crabs Restaurant to toss bread to “his” gulls for fifty-five years. Now that’s dedication! And it’s part of why I love living in the Pacific Northwest. There’s always something interesting (or someone) to discover.

Here’s looking at you. The guys below asked me to pass along that the next time you visit the refuge, bring food.

Sorry, but a ‘gull’ has to make a living somehow. I know, I know. Bad pun.

Cheers….Bob

The Real Eagles of CC (Clallam County)

Hello: I didn't expect to be doing another eagle story -- at least not quite so soon, but today was a good day It was an eagle day to be exact and just like the Real Houswives of the OC, we've got some true drama going on here in the CC (Clallam County).

Today's photo journey began at the county park along Marine Drive. When the tide is out, there are generally two or three eagles sitting on old pier pilings watching for fish in the shallows. Sure enough, as I pulled to a stop, I saw this handsome guy and snapped a couple of shots. Nothing special.



Things were peaceful -- at least until this older eagle showed up. My buddy on the post bristled and scrunched his shoulders like an angry dog. Then he spun around and assumed an aggressive, I’m-gonna-defend-my-post posture. (No, I’m not making this up.) Look at the pic below. Bird looks like the Karate Kid, doesn’t he?





So I’m thinking the younger eagle has taken the older eagle’s perch – and older eagle wants it back. Still, I’m surprised because eagles don’t normally fuss quite so much over a perch. They bump each other off perches and limbs all the time with little more than an angry squawk or two. Sure enough, the older (more experienced) eagle dives for the piling. I don’t know about you, but I’d find a different perch before tangling with an adult bald eagle.




Sure enough, age and cunning triumphs over youthful bluster. Note the postage stamp posture. Now, maybe he’s just showing off, but I’m sure there is something else going on between these two CC eagles. The younger eagle flies to the bank – fairly close to where I’m standing, but it is out of sight.



Within a few seconds, the older eagle above flies once more toward the younger eagle. The younger eagle beats a hasty retreat. I sneak up to investigate and discover that not only did the younger eagle lose its perch, it also lost its meal. Older, bigger (and I assume badder) adult eagle picks up and takes off with a fish from the bank. Man, that’s just cold.



The adult eagle, with fish-in-talon, banks left and starts heading for the trees behind me. I know immediately where it is going. I drive up to the top of the bluff and sure enough, my big, bad eagle is bringing home the bacon – or, in this case, some type of flat fish.




I watched these two feed on the fish for about ten minutes. Pretty cool, huh?

I still feel badly for the younger eagle who lost its meal, but you know what they say about having mouths to feed and there are eggs in the nest.

Well, that’s it from this end. I gotta go fix dinner. I’m thinkin’ I’m in the mood for salmon.

Cheers!

Bob

Star Trek: the Writers’ Guide

OK, to the best of my knowledge, there is no such thing as a Star Trek Writers’ Guide, but think about it! To boldly go (split infinitive notwithstanding) where no man has gone before. It’s good advice. As a fiction writer (especially true for fantasy and SciFi writers), your job is to take folks where they’ve never been before. As Mr. Spock would say, “It’s only logical.”

Since space and inter-dimensional travel have not yet been perfected, about the best we writers can do is look for aliens, and interesting characters, away from our own backyard.

I recently made a trip to Wyoming to visit Devils Tower. While there, I noticed several things I’m not accustomed to seeing in Western Washington, let’s call them “appliances,” hanging from the backs of pickups. So I pull up behind this pickup at a red light and right in front of me, literally swinging in the breeze, are a pair of (wait for it)… testicles. Bull testicles by the looks of them – extra large – in bright silver.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not picking on people who drive pickups – or even those who have close relations with their trucks. I, too, love my truck. I polish it and equip it with all sorts of gadgets. I even talk to my truck, so I’m not picking on truck owners. Call me a wimp, but I have never had the urge to hang a pair of balls from my trailer hitch. It raises a serious writer’s question, however. What kind of guy feels the need to declare his truck’s masculinity in quite this way. Or is it the driver’s masculinity that’s being trumpeted? Or maybe it’s just a lament for days of old when one’s transportation actually did come with a pair of balls as standard equipment.

As I drove across Wyoming toward South Dakota, I noticed quite a few “male” trucks. I observed one of the owners at a gas station. Sure enough, he had a large cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a belt buckle that could have easily doubled as a silver serving tray. I’m talking large enough to handle an 18 ounce T-bone. And standing right next to Mr. Cowboy was “junior.” Junior appeared to be around 7 years old. His hat was just as big as Cowboy senior's. In fact, he was dressed just like his Pa. Cowboy and mini-cowboy. Cute. A bit scary, but cute. Without his saying a word, I knew the kid wanted nothing more than to grow up and be just like his dad. Admirable. Seriously.

I returned to my truck, stared at it awhile and pondered the meaning of what I have just witnessed. I squeezed a few more drops from the pump and read the warning telling me that the gas may contain up to ten percent ethanol. I wonder if they also add testosterone to the gas in Wyoming. There has to be an explanation for all this, right?

I decide that I just could not, under any circumstances, hang a pair of silver bull testicles onto the back of my truck. I did note, however, that testicles are diverse in Wyoming. They also come in black leather. Those actually looked pretty good. Maybe… nah… well, only if I can find a matching hat. Either way, I gathered some most excellent local color and filed my experience away under ‘male characters, western, wild and very intense.’

Happy Writing!

Bob

Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

Chris Matthews closes his Sunday Political news show each week by challenging his panel of political reporters to tell him something he doesn’t know. It is my favorite part of the show. It is appealing to be educated and ahead of the crowd with a particular piece of information. It works on Mathews’ show and it works in books as well – even fiction books. Or perhaps I should say, especially fiction books.

This week I did some bird watching. We’re fortunate here in the Olympic Peninsula to have a large population of Bald Eagles. There is a nesting pair near our home. The weather is starting to warm up and so are the bugs. While taking photographs, I noticed that the bugs were ‘bugging’ me – and the eagles. Periodically, one would fly off its perch to stretch its wings and avoid its tiny tormentors. Before flying from the branches, the soon-to-depart eagle would call to its mate who would join in the bugling. Not once did one of the eagles depart without letting its mate know it was about to leave.


We also live near the Olympic Game Farm where you can get up close and personal with all sorts of critters. My wife and I took a ride out the other day and were treated to some magnificent displays by peacocks. The males we would display their beautiful plumage before passing female peacocks. This was not unexpected. What was unexpected, at least to me, was the fact that the male peacocks also set their tail feathers ‘abuzz’ by vibrating them at a very high rate, thus providing both an auditory and a quality to their mating dance.

Adding little tidbits of information such as these can liven up your writing and make it more enjoyable. So, go ahead. Tell your readers something they don’t know.


Happy Writing!

Bob

Sometimes Characters Introduce Themselves

Elizabeth, not Liz, not Lizzy, not Beth, but Elizabeth introduced herself in a soft, but self-assured voice. “Im the docent here,” she said with a noticeable air of pride. When I say noticeable, I do mean noticeable. We’re talking Getty Museum level pride, or perhaps the New York Museum of Art – notwithstanding the fact that we’re in a small town museum with a city population of less than 1,000. That’s OK, ‘cause I’m paying rapt attention to ‘Lizzy.’ Sorry, anyone that it is this serious needs to relax.

“This our natural materials exhibit,” Lizzy tells us. “Did you see vase cover over there?” I nod. “Do you recognize the material,” Lizzy asks. “Chicken feet skin,” I offer.

Lizzy is impressed, both with the vase and the fact that I know my chicken feet. Even after being raised on a farm, I had no idea one could skin a chicken’s foot – or that an artist would even want to do so. That said, the vase looked very, uh… uh… distinctive. Artsy and distinctive. Moving right along.

“Did you see the vase decorated with salmon tails?” Of course we did. Actually, there are several vases covered with various fish parts and Liz is just getting warmed up. As for me, I’m starting to panic. I love museums; I love art – even ‘novel’ art which this exhibit certainly is. I know Liz just wants (and I mean, really, really, really wants) us to enjoy the exhibit, but my polite smile is starting to fracture into an amused grin and I do not want to hurt Elizabeth’s feelings. She might, after all, end up serving as the basis for a character in a future work.

Happy Writing!

Bob

Fiction Writing Can be a Witch's Brew

Let's say you want to develop a character that reflects or represents the Republican Party – or perhaps its values. How would you go about doing this? Fortunately your TV is filled with real-life Republicans from Sarah (Drill-Baby-Drill) Palin to Joe the Plumber.

Now, I have no doubt that it would be a lot of fun to base a character on Ms. Palin, but there are good reasons not to do so. Spsst! They're called lawsuits. That's where the witch's brew method comes in. We could start with Eye of Newt (Gingrich). He's a gray-haired, self-assured professorial sort of guy. As a character, he might not have the spark you need to keep a reader engaged for a long work. So, whose personality could we borrow from to "perk up" our bland Newt? How about a sprinkling of essence of pompous? How about Rush Limbaugh?

Now, Rush has been around for a long time – and I'm not picking on his waistline. Stay with me here. He's an incredible influence in the Republican Party and has millions of devoted listeners. Some might argue that Rush is the Republican Party. He is passionate. He is absolutely convinced that he is right. Remember the bumper stickers proudly announcing, "Rush is Right"?

Now, I have no doubt that Rush can figure out what's right for him. He can probably figure out what's right for the Republican Party. Where the "pompous" part comes in is when he's convinced he knows what's right for everybody else. So, you could build part of your character with an element or two of Mr. Limbaugh.

No Republican archetype would be complete without a bit of righteous anger. From whom do we draw this element? There's grumpy Bob Dole who always liked to refer to himself in the third person. Never understood that, but Okay. He's a candidate. My personal favorite, however, is Tom Delay. Now, he's one angry guy.

Okay, so you can put these in the character blender, hit the pulse button and out pops a … Hmm. Out pops a really bad idea. Seriously, would you want to spend 250 pages with such a character?

So where was I going with all this? We tend to start with characters and imbue them with qualities, characteristics and flaws. Character building can also start in reverse. You can build your character around the raw elements of a political movement, a value system or set of beliefs. Why do this? Easy answer. Strong beliefs and passions spark conflict. Conflict begets interest. Strong characters drive stories.

If you were to trap New Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh in an elevator with Tom Delay, I suspect there would likely be zero conflict – up until the time Rush lights up his cigar. If, however, you were to drop Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Congressman Barney Frank into that same nine-by-nine foot enclosed space with Rush and company and conflict becomes a lot more likely. Heck, let's add Congressman John Conyers -- just to make it an even fight. Man, I want to watch that video. Put it on Pay-Per-View and I'm there.

Homework Assignment -- Think about the following TV personalities: Brian Williams, Chris Mathews, the late Tim Russert, Geraldo Rivera, and Oprah. Describe them in no more than three words. When I think of Tim Russert, I think of honorable, committed, highly analytical. When I think of Brian Williams, I see him as 'sincere.' I see Oprah as an inquisitive, intelligent and a very private individual.

What qualities do you think these TV personalities evoke?

In what roles would you cast them in your story? (Doctor, Lawyer, Baker or Cabinet Maker, etc.?)

I think Brian Williams would make a great judge. I could easily see Oprah as a private detective or the lead in mystery novel. I also see Geraldo in a private detective role, although he would likely hail from a seedier part of town. Tim Russert would make a great prosecuting attorney. (He was a lawyer, by the way).

Okay, same questions for the following TV personalities: Katie Couric, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and Whoopi Goldberg.

Bob

Place: The Final Frontier

Space: The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship, Enterprise. Its 5 year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations…to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Remember these words? Of course you do. For some of you, the split infinitive "to boldly go" causes you to cringe each time you hear it. With bit more literary license, and with apologies to Mr. Roddenberry, I would like to suggest a slight revision.

Place: The final frontier. Your mission is to seek out new worlds and to boldly take your readers where no author has taken them before.

Seriously, despite the pun, a sense of place can give your work more depth and make your characters really stand out against an unusual backdrop. Think of it as 3D writing. How to do this? Well, you can start by going to places that you have not gone before.

When writing Termination for Convenience, one of our characters is placed into a safe-house – which just happens to be a strip club. Naturally, Charlie (my co-author) and I had to research a couple of the local 'establishments.' (I can still hear my wife's questions. "You're going where? For the book? Right!" All this spoken with total disbelief. Not to worry, we had a comfortable couch.)

Anyway, our goal was to observe, how 'the girls' interact with clients, the managers, the sounds, the smells, the behaviors associated with (and I use this term loosely) a 'Gentleman's Club.'

The action on stage beneath the strobe lights is (at least to me) much less interesting than the action in the darkened corners of the clubs where 'the girls' prowl in search of likely prey – someone willing to spend $50 to $100 for a private dance. 'The girls' are much like a wolf pack. Each coolly scans the room like lioness on a hunt. There is almost always an alpha female to whom the other dancers show deference. A casual visitor will think that the male managers and burly security guards are in charge. Not so. The alpha female and 'her pack' is where the true power of the place is centered.

Another place we visited was LA's China Town. We toured some local restaurants, food and specialty shops. We skulked around alleys in an effort to understand the behind-the-scenes operations of this unique locale. Once again, our intent was to get 'a feel' and a sense of the place so that we could incorporate it into the novel.

Often times you do not have to go far to enter a world that is radically different than that which most of us experience on a day-to-day basis. I once visited a slaughter house and observed the process from the death of the animal, its cleaning, gutting, dismembering and processing of the meat all the way to the creation of neatly wrapped packages of 'product.' I can tell you this. Visit a slaughter house and the sights, sounds, and smells of the experience will remain with you for a lifetime.

There are hidden worlds closer than you think and the exploration of these places can be as much fun as the writing. For example, have you ever sat in the cockpit of a fighter aircraft? It is a lot more cramped and spartan than you think. There is none of the romance evoked by the Top Gun movie. Have you ever strolled the narrow hallways and warrens of an aircraft carrier? There are museums that allow you to do both.

Have you ever visited the basement of a modern skyrise building. Ask the maintenance guy in charge if he will give you a tour. The logistics and technology associated with the operation of a large building are impressive. You will need to explain why you are asking and, if you are able to satisfy their security concerns, you might very well be introduced to an invisible and interesting world hiding in plain sight.

Happy Writing!